Does anyone else think I should become a pizza influencer? No?
Insane oxtail, FREE plant-based sandwiches, my devious plans for what happens next
I was talking to an old friend from high school last night who works in hospitality, and she mentioned that she was really excited about a new collab that she figured out with a “pizza influencer." All of a sudden, it dawned on me that I was going about this whole food writing thing incorrectly: why on Earth am I not considered a pizza influencer yet? What’s my excuse?
Don’t worry: this is not a subtle, halting request for you to follow me on TikTok. I know it’s a well-accepted medium these days and objectively it would make me a more well connected and tuned-in writer, but I can’t help it—I hate TikTok, and will never be a TikTok trend girly. So there has to be another way. I’m just here to share that the brainstorming begins now, folks.
Of course, until I rise through the ranks and make it to the holy circles of Pizza Influence, I guess I’m stuck with all of you; so I might as well suggest some places for you to eat. Here are the places I’ve been recently that reminded me of my contentment with my life choices:
1. Sterling Crust West Indian Restaurant (747 Nostrand Ave)
Okay, it’s not the greatest photo ever, but I think you can kind of get a sense of Sterling Crust from this visual—it’s a laid-back, cafeteria-style restaurant serving takeout West Indian food on Nostrand Ave in Crown Heights. It’s not the most inviting storefront, so it can feel a little intimidating to step into the fluorescent light and lay yourself at the mercy of the person behind the counter; but the food makes it so worth it.
Our server was incredibly sweet and she had our backs when we asked her to give us whatever she thought we should try: she hit us with some oxtail and stewed chicken, along with a trio of types of rice that we joked looked like Neapolitan ice cream. There were three of us at this meal, we got $30 of food total, and there was enough left over that each of us could have brought a date.
2. Emack & Bolio’s (741 Fulton St)
When she was in middle school, my little sister used to spend hours after school at Emack & Bolio’s because she and her friend wanted to flirt with the ice cream boy. She convinced me to go back with her this past week, and the dreamy boy was of course long gone, but something about the place still feels entirely crushable, in a part-time-musician-who’s-into-psychedelics way.
The chain was founded in Boston in the 70s; founder Bob Rook, who identifies as a “music lawyer” (another aspirational title!), wanted to create an ice cream store that was Cool and not Lame. Munchies SO obviously inspire the menu, which is stuffed with preposterous toppings and flavor collabs. Anyway, we both got this flavor they’re calling Grasshopper Pie made with mint, oreo, and chocolate chips, and it was the best ice cream either of us had had in a while. There are four locations in the city; go out and get a funky scoop.
3. Neat Burger Nolita (25 Cleveland Pl)
Neat Burger is a British chain that has made its way across the pond and is basically aspiring to be a new cutesy, sustainable, plant-based version of McDonald’s. The newest location opened last month in Nolita, and it’s overwhelmed by neon, but not unpleasant. Somehow the Crispy Chick’n Burger I ate was still awesome despite the fact that they forgot to put pickles on it. (That’s saying something—I like pickles.) I am in disbelief that even the INNARDS of whatever it was that I was eating had the color, flavor, and TEXTURE of Real Chicken. Like. What?
Anyway, let me cut to the chase: right now, to attract the crowds this place deserves, they have a deal where you can get $10 off your first sandwich—as in, the price of the entire sandwich—if you just give them your email. I’m mostly writing this because I’m so pissed off that I didn’t look this up before I went. Please learn from my mistakes.
4. This chicken biryani (from a truck on the corner of 6th Ave and W 46th St)
Okay, hear me out: there’s a food cart that parks on the corner of 6th Ave and W 46th Street that’s serving this phenomenal chicken biryani. I’m still thinking about the sweetness of the large golden raisins hidden below that white sauce, and how the chicken was so deeply seasoned that it turned almost purple. I mean. Look how gorgeous it is! I will live forever in regret that I didn’t write down the name of this food cart. If you have a lead, leave a comment.
To finish, here are a few dramatic food stories I’ve recently learned about and will be inspiring my eating habits in the coming few weeks:
Restauranteur Saeed Pourkay (@tasteofpersianyc) used to have a pop-up within a pizza shop in the Flatiron district until he was unceremoniously ousted by new owners who then tried to replicate his business. Now, he offers delivery-only Iranian food via Instagram on Sundays. I watched a video about Pourkay, promptly became obsessed with him, and then started consistently missing the chance to order—he does it all via Google forms—but I WILL get my sneaky order in someday, mark my words. (Delivery is free in Manhattan and $10 in Brooklyn.)
My friend Jack tried to take me to Spicy Village this past week, but it had a line out the door, so he just led me to New Spicy Village instead and told me the grisly tale of how this copycat restaurant decided to rip off the entire operation of the original Spicy Village. “The food is still pretty good,” he shrugged. And it was—but now I definitely want to go to the original restaurant.
I somehow still haven’t been to Dinner Party, the lavish Fort Greene experience designed to replicate an at-home meal with friends. All plates are family-style and the space is curated to be absolutely darling, which almost makes it feel like the $50 min price is justified (almost). They did a joint event a few weekends ago with the Center for Fiction where they designed a seasonal four-course meal that paired with literature readings that I would have killed to attend if I had been in town. Maybe I should wait until that happens again?
Alright, I’d like to end by focusing on the positive. My next assignment for Tasting Table is to try a whole BUNCH of different gelato brands… so I may not be on a pizza influencer level yet, but you’ll be free to accept me as your Gelato Tsar by next week. Stay posted to hear my first decree in office.
Love,
Hannah